After schlepping my way from work through the rain to Chelsea Piers on the Westside and a quick shoe change later, I joined a party that I wasn’t actually invited to. Not as a guest, at least.
TIVKA, an organization that raises money for a Jewish orphanage in the Ukraine was having a dinner for its wealthy donors and Flash Mob America was hired to surprise the guests during the meal. We were given the option to dress as waitstaff (all black) or guests (cocktail attire). Given that I do not own a black button down, and I didn’t want to show up at work looking like I should be clearing tables at the Olive Garden, I went with latter. And I figured I’d be able to score some free food or maybe a free drink or two.
I checked in with FMA and then decided to see how well I could blend in with the cocktail hour. (I didn’t think I would have a problem. I am half Jewish after all. At least I didn’t make the same mistake as one girl who wore a cross around her neck…) Immediately, I was offered an appetizer by a REAL server and went over and helped myself to a small plate of sushi. I continued to “blend” as I ate, and satisfied with my free light meal I went up to run through the dance one more time before the dinner started.

We slowly trickled into the dining room with the rest of the guests and I decided to try my chances at the bar. I was dressed like one of them, right? I stood with the “waitstaff” while speakers, awards, slideshows and even magicians occupied the attention of the room. After finishing my drink, I realized it must look a bit odd that I’m standing to the side. I turned to my new friend Frankie (dressed as a waiter) and jokingly said that I should sit down at an empty seat and start eating. To which he responded, “You should! They’re just going to throw it away.”
It was true. The wine was poured, the salad was dressed. They would just throw it all away when the evening was over. And that was all it took for me to sit down quietly at a table made up of two couples that were pulled straight from the set of Gossip Girl.
There was a blonde girl (let’s call her Serena) and a brunette with her hair in a perfect bun on top of her head and a fur collar around her neck (we’ll call her Blair). Serena’s date gave me a strange look and said “hi” and I replied “hi, I’m Allie” and started on my salad and watched whatever was happening on stage. There was simply no way I could B.S. a conversation with this group without giving away the secret of why I was there. Blair and Serena judged me, but that was okay because I was then served more wine and later an entree. Chicken AND beef. Both were amazing. And mashed sweet potatoes inside of a fancy pastry crust.
The cue for me to dance finally came (B.o.B’s “Magic” — I later found out that the theme of the night was The Magic of Hope, which explains the magician) so I took one more bite of sweet potato and went to my spot.
After the dance, which I REALLY hope there’ll be a video of, I went back to my table, grabbed my red wine and spent the rest of the evening chatting with the other Flashmobbers. They seemed both jealous and impressed.

Cost: $0
What’s next? $5 Broadway show – Lysistrata Jones (studentrush.org)
Care to join me?